See You By The Coconut Tree

See you by the Coconut Tree.

A bed we once shared, all intimacy, my first love. The first man I ever laid in bed with, wow did that feel beautiful. I wanted someone I couldn’t trust cheating didn’t help your cause.

Kind of hard not loving you after 8yrs, 8yrs of love, passion, insecurities, faithfulness, unfaithfulness.. all of that is what made us.

I asked myself if the pain I felt was love or the inability to let go. I realized last year that It was the inability to let go. Such a pretty picture we painted but a highlight here and a dark spot there, changes the piece completely. I loved you to the moon and…

Being trapped by this new fragrance that made me feel so good at one time.

Was it all excitement? Where did all these butterflies come from?

I was excited because for once in my life at 20yrs I expressed my love for another man! I was free!

Love is just a tool to let us know who we are.

Love is disgusting, love is a ball full of shit, love is a ball full of frustration, love is a ball full of love….. or so I thought it was..

Love is not what you say, it’s what you do.

I had my happiest moments with you, my lowest moments… everything!

Bed is where we shared many intimate moments.

You told me you loved me at 2 months while I was sleeping…

I pretended to be asleep but still I accepted it!

The reason I brought in a Coconuts was because you promised me Hawaii…

I loved you so much that I brought up the idea to dream with you. Dream about you while I slept because I didn’t want to miss any chance with you! You were my first…. First….. first…. first…. MY FIRST NALGA!!

I feel like we went to all corners of the earth and I couldn’t continue with you anymore. I had every thought imaginable of how I thought our equation would work,

I felt so numb to you for 8yrs, How did you expect me to feel after being lied to? You cheating was the hardest thing imaginable. Love is not what you say, it’s what you do.

I’ve learned that I can still love people and simultaneously not allow you to harm me. I realized I became a monster to you in front of people that I loved… friends & family. I decided I no longer wanted to be that person.

Clouds become so blurry, time has past

I hope that I at least remind you of how much I loved you but also how much this hurt.